The freezing wind and the barf bus
Today was my first miserable commuting to work experience in a long time. It's cold today, and my 15 minute walk to the bus stop was mostly against the wind, sparse tiny snowflakes and all. Did you know that certain types of snowflakes can actually hurt when the wind blows them directly into your face? Now you do!
Then I got on the bus and it smelled like barf.
I've heard people with ADHD are worse at handling discomfort than neurotypical people. Some combination of emotional disregulation and sensory issues, I would guess. I definitely think it's true of me. I get very hangry, for example.
Anyway, I was so upset about having to deal with these things, and I wish I hadn't been. It would have been better to just be able to roll with it. Because in hindsight, it's pretty funny. Usually both the walking and bus parts of my commute are totally fine, but this morning I got hit with the freezing wind and the barf bus.
But in the moment, I was miserable! The thought, "I hate my stupid life," was playing repeatedly in my head, even though I generally really like my life, which is not stupid!
Sometimes I wonder if it's bad that I feel my emotions so strongly. One might argue that me stewing, glowering, thinking how unfair and terrible my life is because I'm on a bus that smells bad, is unhealthy. On the other hand, I always get over it as suddenly as it came on. And I'm really, really good at writing heartwrenchingly sad music.
I think the only important thing is to make sure that I don't take my bad moods out on the people around me. Otherwise, I proudly wear the badge of Overly Angsty Artist Type Person.